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Sexually Speaking: Four Years of Sex, Life, and Sweet Briar
By Rachel Reynolds '07
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

In the last few weeks, many people have requested that I publish one more installment of my old sex column before I graduate. However, four years of college deserve more in scope than sex. So I’ve written a column based on experience of all forms that I have acquired at some point during my undergraduate career. Here, in my last piece for the Voice, are the 10 things you need to know to survive sex, life, and Sweet Briar:

10. Liquor before beer does not, unequivocally, mean that you are in the clear (this one’s for Natalie).

9. Never assume that something is too difficult for you before trying it. You will either be pleasantly surprised by your own abilities, or create delightful fodder for future cocktail party conversations.

8. Sex on the beach is romantic. Sand in your underpants is not. Bring a blanket.

7. Tap-club culture is codified by neither scripture nor law. Respect the Game, those who run it, and those who play it. But don’t forget to respect yourself. At the end of the day, clubs are supposed to be fun. If you find that the opportunities available to you within the current tap-club scene are limiting, then go do your own thing. If you and your friends want to run around at night in crazy costumes, make hats, or paint the rock and hitching post, then go right ahead, because you are entitled to do what makes you happy within the bounds of the honor code and state/federal laws. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that her fun is just more important or special than yours.

6. Procrastinate! The work will get done eventually, and you’ll have more fun along the way.

5. As the juniors were so good as to remind us at step-singing, life is not always perfect. No boyfriend, girlfriend, professor, class, job, apartment is ever going to be flawless. You have to take the good with the bad. So one day, you may be stuck homeless, starving, unbathed, pregnant, drunk, dressed in a smelly Big-Bird costume and incarcerated in a Tijuana jail with a cellmate named ‘Spike’ who appears to be the lovechild of the Incredible Hulk and Larry Flint. But no matter what, don’t forget the juniors’ impassioned and thoughtful message to those of us venturing out into the world: life is not always perfect.

4. You will learn the most when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Never approach a class with the attitude that you are a rock star. Work hard, and cherish the good grades that issue from that work. But never set more store in a higher grade in an easier class than a lower grade in a more challenging class.

3. Grey’s Anatomy is not a television show. It’s a religion. If someone talked loudly through your confirmation/bat mitzvah/sunrise ceremony/séance/whatever, wouldn’t you be rightfully annoyed?

2. Study what you love, not what you think will score you big money later. Someone, somewhere, will be interested in paying you for it.

1. Timing, in all things, is very important.