Madame Manners
By Madame Manners

Dear Madam Manners,
As an upperclasswoman, I consider myself to be well-versed in the Sweet Briar behavioral norms, especially at the library. I like to secure a location with all of my books, and I know that they won't be taken. However, I will never understand how, when there are empty tables, strangers find it necessary to move my things in order to claim a measly corner on my table covered in books. It just doesn't make sense, and, when considering the plethora of other tables around, I don't understand why they want to disrupt my routine and my private work environment. I have even left scathing notes on the giant tablet for all to read, threatening honor code violations, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Am I just being a library diva?

Sincerely,
Library Diva

Dear Diva,
If the case is as you describe, then it is rather silly that they want to squeeze onto a tiny corner of "your" table. However, maybe you should try to see the other side. By using some twisted logic, it seems these library patrons may be trying to sit next to the smartest people in the library, hoping that some smart-ness will rub off. Obviously, we know that intellect-by-osmosis is not a scientifically documented occurrence, but for some, desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s very difficult to say the best way to handle a situation where talking is not really encouraged (i.e. in a library environment). However, the best way is probably to be as respectful as possible, and hopefully the little soul will figure it out. There are other, less subtle options, too. You could take all the chairs away from your table so no one else can sit there. Or you could write threatening hate notes and tape them all over, as well. I don't necessarily condone either option, but since it is the library, silence is golden. Until someone willfully takes your belongings, you really can't turn them over to non-academic judicial proceedings. However, if worst comes to worse, you could probably establish a no-man's land around your table and see if anyone truly is dedicated enough to traverse it. After that, I have nothing to offer.

Best of luck,