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What Not to Wear
By Mary Dance '07
STAFF WRITER

According to a student researcher of Bryn Mawr College, “High heels have long been stigmatized as a crippling mechanism of the ever present and detrimental patriarchy. The significance of shoes, feet and high heels have a history of masculine power and female fetishization.”

Such comments come not without controversy. Though the origin of high heels remains unclear, -- some claiming their starts from Egyptian butchers attempting to stand above meat-covered floors, others claiming their first usages by Mongolian horsemen aiming to grip their stirrups firmly --, the modern connotation of high heels appears almost antithetical to these beginnings.

In a post-feminist world, some question whether high heels are a symbol of male dominance, but high heels still signify a right of passage and the Sex and the City culture recognizes the grandeur of Manolo Blahniks. In some sense, heels seem to be a symbol of feminine power.

Well, at least they can be. High heels only act as a powerful arsenal if worn correctly. From the way that they are modeled to the clothing with which they are paired, high heels can appear unattractive if used incorrectly. For this reason, I address the dos and don’ts of high heels.

I cannot stress enough that, when wearing high heels, you must walk well in them or risk looking utterly ridiculous. As a high school junior, my best friends and I once watched women entering the Virginia General Assembly to see whose ankles wobbled, a clear sign of high heel in-expertise, and to see who might perhaps stumble or fall—cruel and immature, I know, but a clear illustration of the fact that a lack of proficiency remains quite noticeable. Thus, for the heel novice, these tips remain paramount:

1. Practice, practice, practice. The wearing of high heels does take a considerable amount of ankle strength, as well as the possession of other knowledge acquired only through first attempts. To combat weak ankles, wear heels around the house, around the dorm, up and down the hallway, up and down stairs, on carpet, on wood, on grass. This provides not only experience on different surfaces but also an increase in necessary strength, which can prevent an embarrassing, even painful ankle-twist at a later date.

2. Pay attention. Those different surfaces can have quite an effect on walking in heels. For instance, when walking in grass, distributing weight onto heels causes the wearer to sink (and, sometimes, even an oh-so-graceful fall backwards) into the grass. The same thing happens when stepping over a grate (but usually results in a less comfortable landing on a sidewalk). In the same vein, wearers may find carpet slightly more difficult, particularly when still struggling with the wobble-effect. Such quirks and oddities can only be dealt with when and after one experiences them.

For these reasons, don’t attempt to wear heels with hardly any experience for a first date, job interview, or anything particularly significant. Practice beforehand, and then wear them.

3. Walk straight. And by this, I mean, not only in a straight line but also straight on the heel of the foot. Different people tend to walk differently, and, with that, some walk on the sides of their feet. This will not fly in heels. It will, in fact, land you on the ground. Step straight onto the heel each time. Stepping on the side can cause the heel to turn to either the inside or outside and, well, it’s just all down hill from there. (This is more common with more narrow heels but can happen with wide ones as well.)

4. Walk normally. Do NOT throw your hips forward or backward in attempt to balance in heels; likewise, do not bend your knees abnormally for the same purpose. If you find this necessary to remain upright in heels, PUT THEM AWAY, and find a different shoe.

5. Avoid the Barbie and Jolly Green Giant appearances. By this, I mean be very careful of the outfits with which you pair your heels. When wearing a skirt with high heels, particularly in the workplace, it is advantageous that the skirt fall at least to the knee. Skirts any shorter, especially those awkwardly just above knee-length, are both generally less appropriate for an office environment and also create very strange, Barbie-like proportions. When wearing heels with pants, the pant should end approximately ½-1/4 of an inch above the ground. Pants too long will not only drag but also cover the shoe entirely (and look moderately ridiculous), and pants too short make the wearer look absolutely ridiculous. This is, perhaps, one of the worst high heel faux pas because it makes the wearer look as if she has outgrown her clothing or perhaps just not taken the time to notice her clothes. If you seriously question whether or not her skirt or pants are too short, then by all means, find another shoe.

6. Don’t be afraid! With a little practice, heels can complement an outfit, flatteringly lengthen the leg line, and even boost one’s confidence. This applies to all women, regardless of height. Though the culture of the mid-twentieth century led taller women to shy away from high heels, today’s women should exercise no hesitation in putting on an amazing pair of shoes.