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Celebrity Gossip: the New Hot Addiciton
By Irene Maslanik '07
STAFF WRITER

Why do we love celebrities? Young women, a prominent consumer demographic, spend their disposable income purchasing “rag mags” like US Weekly, People, and those further down the food chain of trashy magazines. We watch E! News and visit any celebrity news internet site we can find.

Why do we care whether or not Britney Spears wears underwear? Why do we want to read about Jude Law’s adulterous relationship with his children’s nanny? Why do we discuss possible sources of the Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton feud? (Oh wait, a friend just told me they’ve forgiven each other and now they’ve joined forces against MK and Ashley.)

The truth – horrifying, ugly, sad, or wonderful – we love them for the things they are and the things we are not. First, the celebrities who have attained movie star status for fairly legitimate reasons provide we plebs with a glimpse of beauty, talent, and charisma. Several of my friends hate Scarlett Johansson.

They hate her because she dates some of the hottest men, acts opposite some of the strongest actors, and wears some of the most fabulous clothes. They hate her because her life seems like the dream life. She’s not the only one.

Keira Knightley received her first Oscar nomination at the age of twenty and also her first two-page spread in a tabloid about her controversial figure. Strangers have opinions about her weight. Designers vie for the opportunity to dress these women and men vie for the opportunity to date them. In the face of all these pluses in their lives, photographers dog their every move and magazines print their break-ups and disappointments. We support and encourage this behavior; this privacy pillaging that leaves young women, our peers, prey for paparazzi predators.

Of course, there are celebrities who have no talent, no charisma, and little personal beauty. For example, Paris Hilton, an unemployed heiress, desperately grabs any attention or scandal she can produce. She has as many fan clubs and devotees as people who might actually deserve them.

Lindsay Lohan, who has produced decent(ish) records and some entertaining movies, voraciously seizes the attention like her sister-in-sensation Paris Hilton. Their public feuds and still more public rehab stints create the opposite effect.

It’s a little thing called downward social comparison. When Lindsay Lohan checks herself into rehab, we take the opportunity to judge and pat ourselves on the back. (Good job, Irene. No rehab this year, and you always wear underwear!)

Whatever the case, we, the consumer population, propagate this subculture. For example, I have received three calls asking if I had heard Britney Spears shaved her head while writing this column. We visit blogs about drug use and gossip about celebrity love lives like they were Greek Week hookups at Sydney.

We encourage and more importantly financially support this culture where privacy is a commodity and talent seems less and less important. I don’t know if it is good, bad, or just ridiculous. Downward or upward social comparison and exploitation of privacy culminate in a society where we encourage open and often cruel analysis of other peoples’ lives as a means to perhaps forget or legitimize our own.

The sordid truth about celebrity is that though we lay siege against the privacy of strangers, we scramble to protect our own. We gossip-mongers commit the same crime of hypocrisy as the stars who arrange romance to coincide with their latest publicity releases. If there was a 12 step program for celebrity gossip addiction, this op-ed would serve as “admitting you have a problem.” So if this speaks to you, put down your “US Weekly” and face the truth. Good news for all the celebrity gossip addicts – rehab is so in right now, so enjoy!